InFaith, Family, Grief

Dear Autumn (Day +183)

Dear Autumn,

I can’t believe it’s been 6 months since you’ve passed. It doesn’t feel like that at all. I felt like I’ve just lost you yesterday. This week had been so rough for me. The thought of knowing you’re no longer with us anymore physically just pains me. My heart just aches in pain and the tears just keep flowing. I tried so hard to keep my mind off of things but it always lead me back to you. You were my happiest hello and my hardest goodbye. I’ll never forget that day when I heard you crying for the first time when you were born. The joy and happiness I felt was indescribable. You were my everything. You were my first for everything. Your dad and I were parents for the FIRST time because of you. You were my first born and you were my first child to leave into God’s arms. I just can’t believe it. I don’t understand why but I know God had a reason. 

What breaks my heart even more is not seeing you grow up with your baby sister. I got a small glimpse of what it would be like… 4 months of seeing you being the best big sister to Chloe. It was such a beautiful sight to see. You would always care for her and protect her. Nobody was allowed to hold Chloe except you, mommy, and daddy.

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